Today is my last morning on the farm. I’m off to San Francisco for the weekend, then back home to Seattle Tuesday evening. I’m glad to say goodbye to my rooster tormentor and alarm clock, watering trees, collecting rocks and building fences. I’ll miss the goats, the dogs, eating fresh eggs collected the day before and making meals from fresh garden veggies and goat’s milk.
I was disappointed at first with this place because I wasn’t really doing a lot of food harvesting or food preserving or other things associated with farming, but life is what you make of it, so I changed my attitude and got out of this experience what I could. I became familiar with chickens and gathering eggs, was taught how to milk a goat (though I admit, I’m not great yet), learned to cook with what was available rather than running to the grocery store, and met some really interesting people.
I realized a few years back that you can’t always get what you want, but you find sometimes you get what you need (yes, that’s a Rolling Stones song). In the last year of traveling and volunteering I learned so much that I don’t regret anything that I did. I learned about stinging nettles and sheep in England, bees and ducks in Wales, history and friendship in Croatia, gratitude and love in Nepal, and goats and forgiveness in California.
I also learned about myself and how to be less selfish, how to love myself despite and maybe even because of my imperfections, and how to just let go.
I am lucky enough to have wonderful friends and family that love me and want nothing but the best for me. This last year or two of transition for me has been tough and I appreciate everything everyone has done for me. From putting a roof over my head, to taking care of me when I was deported, to sticking by me during my emotional turmoil, to loving me and supporting me no matter how needy and pathetic I became. This applies to several people, and I think you all know who you are.
I am not a fan of being left or when things change, which makes my wanderlust both make sense and provide confusion. I like to be the one that leaves, because staying somewhere someone has left is lonely and makes me sad. But I like routine and any disruption to this leaves me lost and anxious. I’m working on this though and am learning to accept things as they come and to just go with the flow.
I want to end this post with a happy, funny story, so I’ll share with you my encounter with a Black Widow spider (I think).
I was walking the 100 yards or so from the barn to the house. I had been working hard and it was a hot day, so I was looking forward to getting a tall glass of ice water and sitting in the cool house for a few minutes. I decided to walk a different way than I usually do because I wanted to look for rattlesnakes. There is a fence behind the house where the tall grass has been weed-whacked because there’s a cable box or something that a man from the electric or phone company has to come look at once a month. I usually take the shorter, steeper path, but decided to follow the fence because maybe that’s where the snakes were. I was almost to the spot where the new path met my usual path when I got a sharp pain on my Achilles tendon. I thought “Mother f***er!”, then quickly turned around hoping to catch the snake that got me. I saw no movement whatsoever and just assumed it must have been a star-thistle instead. The pain intensified with a burning sensation so I took off my shoe and sock, searched both for any creature or plant, then cleaned the area. There was a definite puncture mark below a small scratch. I showed Rich and he immediately thought it was a spider bite. We returned to the scene of the incident with no luck finding anything. Black Widows nest on the ground and could have bitten me when I disturbed its nest. I quickly did an internet search and found out that although venomous, the Black Widow bite is rarely deadly. Phew.
I think this is funny for three reasons. One, because I had decided not to wear my boots that day because I didn’t want an odd tan line; two, because I was looking for rattlesnakes and was a little disappointed that’s not what bit me; and three, because being bit by a venomous spider is a really cool story! It makes me feel Australian (aka macho). I will definitely exaggerate and pull out all the stops when I recount this story to people. In just a few tellings, I’ll have been hiking in the wilderness, all alone, at night, and there will be a nest of spiders the size of grapefruits. It’s amazing I’m still alive really. š